your room smells of hookers.
And success
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
