i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
