I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
