make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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