I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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