The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize