no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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