Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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