I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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