I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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