I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
