I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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