u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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