You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
