Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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