I can tuck mytits in my pants
My cat gives me a boner
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
