he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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