eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
