So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
bring money and cleavage
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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