Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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