It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize