remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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