she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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