Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
