you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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