Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just google imaged poop.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
