We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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