Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
