god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
