If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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