Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I need to calm my uterus...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
