is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize