My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
