He is an equal opportunity slut.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
