Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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