She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
