69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
