fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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