Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
