Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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