Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
