Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so let's talk penis.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
