I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize