census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
