Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we made out on top of his cat.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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