i just wanna soil my oats bro
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
