Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have post one night stand depression
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