I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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