when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Barsexuality is the new black.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
