you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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