yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
