i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
