No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
