Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
