wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
