So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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