"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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