Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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